Certain memories stick more than others, I remember the day I fell in love with the name ‘Makayla’. You know the saying, “When you know, you know”, that’s pretty much how it was the day the name ‘Makayla’ found me.

I was at a high school graduation party for a neighbor, my husband (then boyfriend) attended with me. We did not know many people there other than the graduate and her family, so it was a lot of the typical small talk, introduction conversations buzzing around the room. I started talking to one mom in particular who would be interrupted from time to time from her young daughter, probably around the age of four or five. I didn’t mind a bit, because this little girl had the brightest blue eyes, dark spiral curls, and the most expressive, spunky little personality I’ve ever seen! I remember smiling whenever she would run back over to her mom to ask another question; her words and facial expressions were so entertaining to me. Just the cutest little girl. I had to ask her mom, “What is your daughter’s name?” You know what she said… “Makayla”!

I had never heard that name before, but I instantly fell in love with it! I remember leaving the party soon after that and declared to Michael (my then boyfriend, now husband), “I am going to name my first daughter ‘Makayla’, that is the most beautiful name! Who ever my husband is, he will have to be okay with that.” As I stated above, when you know, you know. There was no changing my mind.

I believe God planted a seed in my heart that day that would eventually give birth to a ‘Makayla’. I believe He wanted me to fall in love with that name because He had already chosen me to bring into reality the life He already created her to have on this earth. God had a unique plan and purpose for Makayla, with a one-of-a-kind heart and personality.

It says in Psalms 139:16;

“Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.”

Although I may not be able to fully comprehend His plan and purposes for Makayla’s life this side of Heaven, I know He was intricately involved in every moment while she was with us. That truth has become a comfort to me. Before He formed her in my womb, He knew her, before she was born, she was sanctified (Jer. 1:5). Those are the words of the Lord! There was, and still is, a powerful purpose of the life He fashioned in our daughter. Although she was only here 11 short years, her life’s story is being told and is reaching far beyond our home, touching the hearts of those God wants to reach.

This truth does not weaken the pain or finish the grieving process I have yet to go through, but it gives me a hope! These words do not erase the heartache I feel daily in the loss of such a precious child, but it provides an anchor. I miss saying her name twenty times a day! I will whisper it just so I can hear myself speak it out loud. It’s such a beautiful name! I feel honored that the God of Heaven and Earth used me to bring forth a child of grace, beauty, heart, and wisdom. Those that knew Makayla, would know this to be true. She was set apart, she was made for such a time as this, and I have the ability to say, that God chose me to be the one she called “mom”!